Getting You Home On Friday

(Getting You Home On Friday - Episode - 029 - You Forgot the Interns)

INTRO SONG

DEEP VOICE: We're Getting You Home On Fr, Fr, Fr, Fr, Fr, Fr, Fr, Fri, Fri, Fri, Friday!

INTRO OUT

(Short Skit, Exploration)

MUSIC, MOURNFUL SYNTH, SETTING UP MOOD. DISTANT
WIND BECOMING STRONGER.

VOICE: Today we read from the Journal of Scott of the Antarctic, a remarkable explorer in any
terms.

Day 3: It’s cold.

Stay tuned for day 4 on tomorrows episode.

MUSIC FADES OUT.

(Paranormal Patrol, Shabby Seagull Inn, 12)

THEME SONG: BLEND OF PARANORMAL MUSIC WITH HEAVY BASS
AND SYNTH.

VOICE OVER: In the last episode of Paranormal Patrol our team looked over the
Shabby Seagull Inn overlooking the Straits of Dire where strange
happenings, have been happening.

PETE: And what happens here, dear?

ARABELLA: Oh well my husband lays out three kilos of spaghetti and four tins of
tomato sauce. We start by rolling our naked bodies…

PETE: What paranormal things happen here?

SCARY MUSIC.

VOICE OVER: What of the shadow in the bar and the Lady in Blue looking out to see,
the sea? Join us now, for the next enthralling, all in, investigation on
Paranormal Patrol.

THEME OUT. SCARY MUSIC.

JOHN: (ASIDE) We decided to break into groups and Pete and I went into the
bar with our Thermonuclear Camera. The Thermonuclear Camera
measures differences in the temperature and causes cancer when
exposed for long periods of time. We can pick up heat signatures of
other entities and other paranormal activities.

PETE: And you should see someone breaking wind, it's just too funny.

JOHN: All right, John and Pete in the Shabby Seagull Inn Bar, is there anyone
here?

PETE: Present.

JOHN: I know you're here, is there anyone else, here?

PETE: Camera and sound crew. A few interns and…

JOHN: Okay, Is there anyone else here other than Pete, the cameraman,
sound bloke, and myself?

PETE: You forgot the interns.

You'd hardly think there'd be enough room.

MOAN.

JOHN: Did you hear that?

SCARY MUSIC.

PETE: The moan?

JOHN: Yes.

PETE: No, I didn't.

JOHN: It sounded as if it came from over here.

VOICE OVER: And in the cellar, Jean feels something evil.

JEAN: So help me, Buster, if you try that one more time I'll knock your teeth
out!

SCARY MUSIC.

Now, how about we try some E.V.P work? Like professionals.

BUSTER: Does that stand for Exploring Vibrant Partners? Sounds like hide and
seek but…

SLAP.

Aw!

SCARY MUSIC.

JEAN: (ASIDE) E.V.P stands for Electronic voice phenomena. Its where
sounds and voices of unseen entities can imprint themselves onto
digital recordings. It is hard to explain why this happens, so I won't.

Is anyone here?

(PAUSE)

Can you tell us your name?

(PAUSE)

Can you throw a stool at Buster?

BUSTER: Hey!?

SCARY MUSIC.

VOICE OVER: Meanwhile something grabs the attention of Petra Fied in Command
Central, which happens to be the van parked out the front.

PETRA: What the....

SCARY MUSIC. AMBIENT SEASIDE.

I was in the van, we call it Command Central because the "van"
sounds a little cheap in comparison. Anyway, something grabbed my
attention.

I mean, what a lovely full moon. Look at that! Don’t even need a
filter, one shot and boom, glorious. This is why I love my job. This is
why I do it. And the ghosts I guess.

SCARY MUSIC.

JOHN: Pete, did you see that?

PETE: The really lovely full moon?

JOHN: No, the figure past the window, it looked like the Lady in ... hey it’s
really is a lovely full moon isn't it?

PETE: All shiny and sparkly on the water...

JOHN: Last time I saw a moon.... there it is again!

PETE: What?

JOHN: Just past that window, it looked like the Lady in Blue.

PETE: My goodness, I did see that.

JOHN: Let’s get out there.

SCARY MUSIC. FEET RUNNING ON FLOORBOARDS WITH ONE
SKIPPING.

(ASIDE) Pete and I were in the bar when we saw a figure of a woman
pass one of the windows. The figure seemed solid, presumably as
there was a very bright full moon out.

PETE: It gave off a lovely light, so mellow and mysterious.

JOHN: It really was a lovely moon rise.

SCARY MUSIC.

She seemed to be just here.

PETE: Maybe she needed to go to bed.

JOHN: Yeah?

PETE: Happens when you’re dead tired.

SCARY MUSIC.

JEAN: If there is anyone here in the basement could you please make a
sound? A noise? Push Buster to the floor?

BUSTER: Hey, that isn't funny, Jean.

JEAN: Neither are your wandering hands Buster.

BUSTER: Come on Jeanie baby, you enjoy it.

CHAIR HITTING HEAD.

Aaarrgghhh!

SCARY MUSIC.

JEAN: What was that?

BUSTER: A chair! Another chair just hit me in the head. I'm out of here! I’m
done, I didn’t even do anything!

THUD.

Mummy!

FOOTSTEPS RUNNING OUT OF THE ROOM.

JEAN: Whoever that was, thank you.

GHOST: Hehehehehe

JEAN: Is that you?

SCARY MUSIC THEN AMBIENT SEASIDE.

BUSTER: Oh that hurt, did you get that on film?

PETRA: Yep. Want to see it in slow motion babe?

BUSTER: Petra, just show it.

SCARY MUSIC.

PETRA: Suit yourself. Here we have the chair coming out of the darkness and
hitting you on the head. Then from this angle, then a thermal of the
contact and last of all, you running like a coward up the stairs crying
out "Mummy".

BUSTER: You don't have to play that last bit do you?

PETRA: Only for professional integrity. I’m already uploading it onto socials
anyway.

THEME IN.

VOICE OVER: In the next amazing episode at the Shabby Seagull Inn, John and Pete
come face to face with the Lady in Blue.

SCREAMS.

PETE: Oh honey those tones just wash you out!

VOICE OVER: And Petra and Jean make contact with the chair throwing entity that
has taken to taking to Buster. So join us for the next enthralling episode of Paranormal
Patrol.

(Ed & Ted, The Bad Day)

THEME SONG: GENTLE GUITAR STUMMING AND WHISTLING.

NARRATOR: I've been to cities that never close down, so why do they lock their
doors? But nothing compares with the mighty expanse of the outback
where they work hard by day and shoot the nightlife. So come and
dangle your snag over the embers of the fireplace we call home and
watch the sun setting the mud rock hard.

THEME SONG FADES OUT.

ED: Ted.

TED: Ed.

ED: 'ow are yeh?

TED: Not bad.

ED: Not bad?

TED: Not bad.... An' you?

ED: Oh, a bit, yeh know.

TED: A bit what?

ED: Yeh know.

TED: Yeh know what?

ED: Yeh know, a bit yeh know.

TED: Out of sorts?

ED: Oh, not that bad.

TED: That's good.

ED: That's good?

TED: Well y'know, it's better than bein' out a sorts.

ED: Oh yeah, I guess so.

TED: Oh yeah.

ED: Dinkum?

TED: Straight up and down.

ED: Good enough for me.

TED: Yeh know ol' Blue?

ED: Yer ol' dog?

TED: Nah not the ol' Blue.

ED: Oh, ol' Blue yer ol', ol' dog?

TED: Nah, his mother, Blue.

ED: Oh yeah, ol' Blue.

TED: She was out a sorts once.

ED: What 'appened?

TED: I rang up the vet, like.

ED: Yeah.

TED: An' 'e came out and looked at 'er.

ED: An'?

TED: 'e said she was out o' sorts.

ED: Straight like?

TED: Straight wire, cobber.

ED: An' then what?

TED: 'e gives her a shot.

ED: A vaccination like?

TED: Nah, with me rifle.

ED: Strueth.

TED: Yeah, not a good day, that one.

ED: Nah.

TED: Ruddy rotten day.

ED: Poor ol' Blue.

TED: Yeah, poor ol' Blue.

ED: Eh, Ted.

TED: Yes, mate.

ED: Wasn't that when yeh missus ran off with that sales fella?

TED: Me missus?

ED: You know the one yeh married to?

TED: Oh, 'er.

ED: Yeah, 'er.

TED: Yeah, she ran off the same ruddy day.

(PAUSE)

ED: So it wasn't all bad.

TED: Not on the day.

ED: Not on the day?

TED: Nah.

ED: Nah?

TED: Nah.

ED: What'aya mean, not on the day, like?

TED: She came back.

ED: Yeah, that's right.

TED: Bad day.

ED: Could 'ave been worse, I guess.

TED: Yeah, could always be worse.

ED: She could 'ave come back with 'er mother.

TED: That'd be worse.

CROW CAWS AND GUNSHOT.

THEME OUT.
(Credits)

LINDA: You have been listening to the voices of: Gavin Jones, Thomas Taufan, Hester van der Vyver, Nate
Gothard, Linda Chong, Cheng

Thank you for Listening.

THEME SONG OUT WITH JOYFUL ANIMAL NOISES.
END.

Copyright by Mike Jones and Iley Jones